Statshoes = Shoes, of statues.

Our featured personality, and unofficial mascot, Abe himself. Affectionately, and amusingly, called “Hey Blinkin” by his close childhood friends. Abe is a common fixture on the American landscape. Folklore tells of his feet stench so pungent and ripe, that upon removal of his shoes he could clear an entire Victorian ballroom in 5 minutes flat.
When Abe was still a small plucky baby, his adoring mother began calling him Hey Blinkin’ due to his very rapid and enthusiastic eyelids. When Abe was out playing in the streets as a child, neighbors recall hearing his mom ring the dinner bell at supper time and repeatedly yell “HAAAYYYY BLINKIN!!” much to his embarrassment in front of his buddies.